Building Trust

Even though most newlyweds live together, they still need to work on building trust in their marriage. Trust, after all, is the glue that holds couples together – even when they face great challenges. Without trust, couples might be more likely to split in times of crises, fail at getting intimate, and have doubts about each other. Couples who trust each other have security and probably feel closer. Here are some ways newlyweds can build trust:

1. Be truthful.

Unless you’re planning a surprise party for your spouse, you should never lie to your husband or wife. Even small lies – such as saying you’re working late when you’re shooting pool with your friends – are a bad idea. You’ll likely get caught in the lie, and suddenly your spouse will be wondering what else you’re lying about.

2. Be reliable.

Follow through on your promises big and small. If you tell your spouse you’re going to meet him or her at 8 p.m. at your house, be there on time. Promised to bring home milk? Bring home the milk. Of course, the big ones, such as fidelity and being there through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, also fall under this umbrella.

3. Set boundaries.

The green monster, jealousy, tends to rear its ugly head and threaten trust when couples don’t set boundaries with those outside their marriage. If you know it bothers your spouse when you flirt with that co-worker, then keep it professional. Don’t set up lunch dates with that ex who always calls. Make sure your spouse knows that he or she is your number one priority. He or she takes precedence over all others.

4.  Be trusting yourself.

Unless your partner gives you a real reason to mistrust or doubt his or her honesty, you should trust him or her. This means that you should never accuse your spouse of cheating or lying to you unless you have hard evidence. Without proof, you’ll just create an air of mistrust. It’ll make your partner doubt your honesty, too. You should have faith in your husband or wife’s faithfulness and honesty. You must believe what he or she tells you.

5. Be fair.

Don’t let your partner pay for the sins of your exes. If you had unfaithful or dishonest exes, you should have worked that out with them. Your spouse is his or her own person and has already chosen to commit to a life with you. He or she should be judged on his or her own actions.

6. Trust yourself.

Your heart led you to this man or woman. Your gut told you that he or she was worthy of your love. Your mind told you to marry him or her. If you trust yourself, you know you made the right choice. And that’s a strong foundation on which to build trust.